Comedy and cake curry
Subtitle: “So what counts as dating, anyway?”
I wasn’t sure whether to blog about this, but have decided it would be interesting to see if anyone has any thoughts on it. I’m not normally one for making these things very public, and it’s even possible (though, I think, unlikely) that the person in question might see this… but I have decided I don’t mind.
Yesterday I met up, for the second time, with a girl I’ll call “L”. We met via okcupid.com, which I joined several years ago just to do tests, and recently revisited in order to see if I might be able to meet some new people with shared interests, make some new friends, see what happens. And, well, I have. One person, anyway. L and I exchanged messages for a while, and we seemed to have lots to say to each other; moved onto email and after a while I suggested meeting up in London. So we arranged to meet at the South Bank Centre one Saturday afternoon. I was a bit nervous, I suppose, but not massively. It just felt like the next step in getting to know this new friend of mine. When we did meet, we just talked and wandered along the river… into the Tate Modern for a bit… then ambled across the river and found a pub for lunch. It was really easy and relaxed, and when we had to go our separate ways (I had to dash off to play in a piano recital) we agreed we must meet up again soon.
We’d talked a lot about comedy, so I suggested going to see the improv show at the Comedy Store near Piccadilly Circus. As L works in a school, and isn’t actually in London, Easter Day turned out to be the next sensible date when she didn’t have to work the next day. Then, having suggested we go for a meal beforehand, I had to choose somewhere to eat. This was difficult. I wanted somewhere nice, but not too swanky and not so noisy/busy that we wouldn’t be able to chat. After some while spent poking around toptable and Time Out, and a brief excursion to the area after work one day, I settled on Chowki, a lovely Indian restaurant barely 2 minutes’ walk from the Comedy Store, which seemed to come highly recommended by various critics and websites.
Yesterday afternoon, I suppose I was a bit nervous. Would she like the restaurant? Would she like the comedy, for that matter? At the back of my mind was a bigger question—one I still don’t have an answer for. Am I just meeting up with a friend, or is this a date? Anyway, I went to meet L at Waterloo; it being very chilly outside, we took the Tube up to Piccadilly Circus, where (as usual) I took us up the wrong road before cutting through a backstreet or two to get us to the restaurant. So, we sat at our table, chose our drinks, and began to ponder the menu… but there seemed so much to talk about, we weren’t even vaguely ready to order when the waiter came round.
To cut a long story short, the meal was delicious and the company was excellent. ;) I’m not great at keeping conversation going when a topic dries up, but L is very good at it so that was all fine. But the time came to get the bill and move on to the Comedy Store. This was a moment I had pondered about. Do I offer to pay the whole bill? L pre-empted slightly by saying “since you bought the tickets, shall I get this?”, but I (slightly shyly, I think) replied that I had wondered if she’d let me treat her. To my immense relief, there was not a big “oh no, you couldn’t possibly” or “are you sure?”. Instead (I think—it’s a bit hazy already) she hesitated slightly then said “ok, thank you… but I’ll still give you money for the tickets.” It seems such a silly thing to have fretted about beforehand (which I did) but as it happened it just seemed… ok. So that was good.
Now off to the Comedy Store, where I got us drinks and we found somewhere decent to sit. The show was excellent, and L really enjoyed it. Also, in the interval I discovered that she also really likes Eddie Izzard, which is always a good sign. :) Anyway, the show had to end eventually and I accompanied her back to Waterloo, to the platform where her train was waiting. We chatted a bit more, and established that it was her turn to choose something to do next time we meet up. We parted with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
So… as I have been pondering the question, “friends… or more…?” I have come to realise that, right now, it’s not something I’m going to fret about (although I suppose the evidence of this very post might seem to contradict that!) I don’t even know which I would choose, if given the choice! What I do know is that L and I get on really well so far, and it’s great to be getting to know her, so I’ll take each occasion as it comes.
Does that make sense?